GOD DEFINES MARRIAGE… NOT MAN!!!
U.S. mother spends $7,000 on a trip to France so she can marry HERSELF – in a romantic ceremony under the Eiffel Tower!
- Beautiful Existence, 42, from Seattle, went to Paris to marry herself
- Spoke vows she’d written herself in a ceremony beside the Eiffel Tower
- Believes that everyone should commit to themselves before anyone else
The bride, who works in social media and marketing, wore a casual white dress and trainers, and recited vows that she had written to herself as an officiant oversaw the ceremony via Skype – as she couldn’t find anyone in France to do so in person.
Now the mother-of-two is encouraging others to marry themselves ahead of her first anniversary in June 2016. ‘It was hugely emotional,’ Ms Existence said. ‘Looking at myself on that screen as I Skyped the officiant, saying exactly what I wanted to say to myself was soul-shifting. ‘I believe everybody should self-marry before they even marry anyone else. It allows you to drop that pressure of having to have somebody else with you in order to be successful.
‘I’d recommend it as much as I’d recommend being a parent, because the level of love you’ll feel is something you can’t describe until you do it.’ (?!!) Ms Existence was previously married for ten years and has two sons – Edge, 16 and Epic, six. During that time, friends would confide in her that they thought she had lost her spark. They told her she ‘wasn’t herself’ when she was married, and questioned what had happened to the independent, optimistic woman they knew. A painful divorce then left her wondering if traditional marriage was for her.
She was further discouraged when she met a new partner and they decided to cohabit but not marry, only to find he wasn’t right for her either. She discovered self-marriage on social media and spoke to other women who had done it. ‘After years of exploring different theories on how to understand myself, self-marriage felt right,’ she said. ‘Why couldn’t I have a fun, fantastic ceremony the way that I wanted it to be without somebody else’s approval?
‘The current norms around marriage and long-term relationships just don’t fit in with and honour who I am as a person.
Before I get into any kind of relationship, I needed to commit to myself first.’ Within a month of finding out that self-marriage was an option, Ms Existence decided to have a ceremony herself. Her heart set on Paris, she set about finding a dress, photographer and inviting friends to the ceremony before jetting out in June last year. She picked her wedding date to coincide with her birthday.
‘I wanted it to all be one big adventure,’ she explained. ‘I figured if I was honouring myself, there was no point in picking a date at random.’ On 10th June 2015, under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower with a bouquet in hand, Ms Existence married herself, reciting vows similar to the ones she had said at her first wedding years previously. She said the experience was life-changing, and has completely freed her from the pressure of finding a partner. She explained: ‘The highest measurement of success society pretty much has is whether or not you’re in a couple, but it shouldn’t be that way.
‘It’s like we’re programmed to be in couples, but it’s not a measure of success. A measure of success is loving yourself, and if you can do that, you come into a relationship as a better person. ‘I don’t worry at all about being in a couple now.’ Currently, self-marriage is not legally recognized. However, Ms Existence believes that this won’t always be the case. ‘It’s not like I’m going to get a marriage certificate.
Nobody recognizes it right now, unfortunately, but I do think that’s something that will be on the horizon,’ she said.
‘There are a lot of people – women especially – who are not subscribing to the regular definition of marriage anymore.’ Since announcing her marriage, Ms Existence said people’s reactions have been positive, save for a few who don’t really understand the concept. Her two sons have been especially supportive. ‘Both my boys are wonderful children. I’m very blessed,’ she said.
‘My six-year-old is too young to be anything but supportive. I talked things through with my eldest, but he’s used to the fact that his mum doesn’t subscribe to normal life protocol.
‘I mean, I have a Mohawk. My name is Beautiful Existence.
‘Plus, he has a lot of friends that are very diverse so he’s a really balanced soul.’ Now, she is looking ahead to her first anniversary, when she plans to get a tattoo on her ring finger to celebrate. Currently, she occasionally wears a ring but would prefer something more permanent. ‘Sometimes, people don’t know how to take the idea that I’m married to myself,’ she said.
‘But that’s because we’ve had this notion that you’re only worthy if you have somebody drummed into us.
‘What we need to realize is that we all already have somebody – we have ourselves.’